How many people came to your wedding? 100? 200? 300? Seven? As a rule of thumb, younger couples have bigger guest lists. Work, family, friends, friends of friends, mates from childhood. Fresh-faced men and women who are an item tend to have the resources of school/university to bolster their congregation.
We have jettisoned most of these people.
Age and life experience teaches us this; to value the people who value you back. A maxim that applies equally to friends as it does family. Half of my relations aren’t invited and two of Sarah’s three brothers didn’t make the list.
One of the brothers rang to say that he was dreadfully sorry but he couldn’t attend as it was his silver wedding anniversary this weekend, even though he was married in 1990, twenty four years ago. When Sarah pointed this anomaly out, he still maintained what was not so, was. Some people are strange.
As it is twenty years almost to the day since my last wedding, it got me to thinking who is coming tomorrow who attended the last splicing?
Apart from my Mum and my sister, the only other person who made it is Greg, my best man. Everyone else has fallen by the wayside. Happily, those erstwhile contacts have been replaced by people who are delighted to attend and are not turning up under sufferance. One older guest remarked that it was nice for once to go to a formal ceremony where everyone wasn’t staring at a wooden box.
As I age, people are becoming more important to me. But the ones who are important are fewer than before.
I know a number of couples who have no children and because of their ages are unlikely to ever have any.
These three couples all have one thing in common- they have many friends. Friends form the basis of their social life and occupy much of their non-working lives. I suppose it’s their own version of family. But here is the question, if that is their version of a family unit – which unit is the stronger ? Which unit is more loyal?
I hope it all goes ok, I hope nobody faints, nobody dies and there isn’t a fight.
In any case, tomorrow it is the Malmaison hotel in Liverpool, where “the judge will put it all to rest.”