And so the day finally arrived. No more dress rehearsals, no more practising, this wasn’t a drill, this was real world.
I’ll begin not on the morning of my wedding day, rather I’ll start my report on the eve. In fact I’ll start on the morning of the eve. On the morning of the day before our wedding I woke to the sound of an argument.
Sarah’s raised voice coupled with intermittent pauses meant she was having a ding dong on the phone. Bleary eyed , I padded downstairs to catch the tale end of the spat. I arrived just in time to hear Sarah spitting “You know what Kevin? You are a liar so you can just go to hell.”
Kevin is Sarah’s older brother. Sarah was trying to arrange care for Sarah’s Mother when we were on our honeymoon. Her Mum, who is suffering from early onset dementia, now needs a visit every morning to make sure she is up and dressed. Kevin was complaining that he couldn’t really help because of work and because of how far he lived from Mum. He did offer to go one of the nights, but that was the limit of his help. Anyway, like all intense arguments, the real issue wasn’t the one being debated.
Kevin wasn’t coming to the wedding. He was invited, but he had rung a few months previous saying he was sorry he couldn’t attend because on the day of our wedding he was in London with his wife celebrating their 25th anniversary.
Fair enough you might think. Only it wasn’t his 25th, it was his 24th. Sarah went online and downloaded his marriage certificate. She kept her powder dry until this Friday morning, when she let him have it.
Previously, when he dreamed up the weekend away excuse, he said he was going to London on the Saturday morning. But now on the phone he changed his story, saying he was going away on the Sunday. So Sarah said that therefore he could have come to the wedding all along. Kevin replied that it was very early in the morning and then he said something else equally facile and not worth repeating.
Then it was time to pack up and transport everything to the hotel. The favours, the table decorations, the bridesmaids dresses, The Dress itself, my suit, the ushers suits, the post box, and a shit load of other items that I couldn’t identify. I think these extra bits could be grouped under the heading, “girly stuff.”
I had a final check round as did Sarah, “Now, have we got everything? ”
“Ok because we can’t come back. Tomorrow it will be too late.”
“Don’t worry, everything is here.”
Famous last words!!