Ok, time to prepare. I adjourned to Greg’s room. All the boys we there. Sean, my new nephew, Greg, Rob and Evan. All the boys clobber was hanging up. My
Greg dispensed the waistcoats, the buttonholes, the pocket squares and lastly the suits themselves.
Evan waited patiently for his jacket and trousers. The wardrobe emptied. We checked and checked again. It wasn’t there. Some idiot (me) had forgotten his suit. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!
Then I did something really stupid. I rang Debi who at that precise moment was sitting next to my bride.
“Er, Sarah doesn’t know where Evan’s suit is, does she?”
The response was terse and to the point.
“Tom, she’s surrounded by hair clips, make up, Sian is putting her face on for her and then she’s to be put into her dress, so she’s a bit busy, so just go away and do something, ok? For fuck’s sake!”
She hung up. Then she text me. ‘Sarah overheard what you said, she’s gone into meltdown so you better get it sorted!
I have a friend called Nick. He has a very fast Jag and loves a challenge. And he isn’t one of those idiots who never answers his mobile phone ( why do people do that?) Nick always answers his mobile.
“Hello Captain! Are we nervous?”
“Nick, are you still at home?”
“We’ve forgotten Evan’s suit. Can you go and buy one now? Charcoal, 32 waist 38 chest regular.”
“How long have I got?”
A pause as he worked out the logistics. Then –
“I’m on it.”
Meanwhile, in the Kop suite, Sarah was going into meltdown. Debi was desperately trying to calm her as Sarah fretted about what else had been left behind? The readings, the candles, the rings!
The rings. Debi rummaged in the tiny velvet bag and produced…..one ring. Where the hell was the other. Everyone ran around searching for the missing band. Sarah had to be told to breathes solely as she decided the best course of action at this point was to become hysterical. Then Sian, Sarah’s Mary Poppins started laughing. The other ring wasn’t lost at all, it had wedged itself inside mine! When I found about this fluke later in the day, it sort of made sense. We were to be as one, indivisible, one unit one team, together for evermore. Either that or it just meant I was stuck with her for the foreseeable future .
But there was still the problem of the suit. Would it arrive in time?
Sian, her make up and hair girl, a veteran of a thousand weddings and a latter day Mary Poppins, calmed her down.
“If a misplaced suit is all you have to worry about, then I think we’re doing pretty well.”